[image description: A close-up of a woman in bed – the only light comes from her cell-phone she holds in one hand while she clutches a fuzzy blanket over her head with the other. Text reads, “171, APPALLA ~SMALL GOD OF DOOMSCROLLING”]
She really thinks you need to see other people. It’s not you, it’s her; she’s afraid she’s becoming bad for your mental health, and since she’s a surprisingly compassionate god when you really get to know her, she’d rather not do that. Maybe a screen limiter on your phone? Or if that doesn’t work for you—if you have a job that requires being able to be reached at all hours, or if you have old trauma caused by overly-controlling adults in your life—maybe a firm policy of putting the phone down two hours before you go to bed? Just so you can sleep, you understand.
She wants you to be able to sleep.
Appalla is another of those gods who everyone assumes is as new as the technology she works through, but has been with us forever. She just didn’t have this much power until recently. “If it bleeds, it leads” has been the rallying cry of clickbait since the beginning of human history: people have always wanted to stare in fascination at the terrible and the profane, to hear the cautionary tales, to stare at the accident site. It’s just that in recent years, she’s gained the power to show every accident in the world at the same time. All the misery, all the fear, all the pain, forever.
It’s starting to wear on her mental health, and she’s divine. She can’t imagine what it’s doing to ours.
And yes, the urge to know and see is understandable, and human, and she doesn’t carry any resentment for those who give in. Only concern. She isn’t a god of tragedy or pain. She’s a messenger god, and she worries that her message has turned toxic.
Maybe you should look at some pictures of fluffy kittens for a little while? Just to break it up? Just until your blood pressure goes down?
Please. She’d like to see some fluffy kittens.
Please.
Join us Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a guide to the many small deities who manage our modern world:
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Lee Moyer 