Édouard de Rochambeau ~ The Small God of Bloodless Dispute Resolution

[image description: A friendly-looking character with short cropped black hair is shown in a classic oval frame. He makes scissor-hands while a Rock and a piece of Paper make faces outside the frame above him. Text reads, “132, Édouard de Rochambeau ~ The Small God of Bloodless Dispute Resolution”]

• • • • •

You don’t have to fight.  It’s okay.

Seriously.  Fighting isn’t going to make you serious, or a badass, or whatever you’ve decided it means to be a “real man”—and why are people still getting hung up on that, anyway?  You ever met anyone you think is a “real man”?  Is that the guy you dream about growing up to be?  Huh?

Yeah, yeah, kid, I know you’re a big scary adult.  But all you humans, you look like kids to me, because the ones of you that stay around the longest, you don’t manage a tenth of the time I’ve been here, and since you keep beating the ever-living crap outta each other down there, I don’t think I’m going anywhere any time soon, if you get what I mean.

And anyway, you humans get to keep growing up for your whole lives, and that’s pretty amazing.  Except for a few of the amphibious gods, we don’t manage that sort of thing.  The chance to grow up to be someone different tomorrow than you are today, now that’s divine.  Miracles are nothing compared to maturing.

I believe in you.

So yeah, we play games to settle scores.  We talk things out.  We roll dice and we negotiate and we argue and we do everything but fight, because you’re too good for that.  You got that?  You’re too good for that, you constantly growing, constantly changing little spark of eternity.  So c’mon.  Let’s dance it out, or if that’s not conclusive enough, we can play Scrabble to decide who’s right and who’s wrong.  Whatever makes you happy.  Whatever keeps you from bleeding on the street.

This is the way we do things, among the divine.  You don’t have to fight.

I promise, it’s okay.

• • • • •

Join Lee Moyer (Icon) and Seanan McGuire (Story) Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a guide to the many small deities who manage our modern world:

Tumblr: https://smallgodseries.tumblr.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/smallgodseries

Instagram: https://instagram.com/smallgodseries/

Homepage: http://smallgodseries.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s