[image description: Profile view of gigantic rock head atop a very steep cliff. Text reads, “142, Eld Hamtunscīr ~ Small God of Treacherous Cliff Faces and Taking Things for Granite”]
Goin’ climbin’? Just be sure you’re ready to be careful out there. Eld’s been active lately, and not everyone we see heading up this trail has been seen again heading down this trail, if you get my meaning. He’s a tricky one, that—
Shit, you wanna tell me that you’re climbers who don’t know Eld Hamtunscir? He’s your most probable cause of death past this point, unless you forget about social distancing when there’s a rattler involved. See, Eld makes people, especially novice climbers like yourselves—don’t get offended, there’s not a scrap on you that’s seen a mountain before, and you look way too excited about what’s honestly a pretty low-grade climb. You’re babies. And Eld loves babies. Loves the funny splat sound they make when they hit the bottom of the canyon. Loves it more than I can say.
Eld’s a god. Maybe he’s a demon. Maybe he’s just an asshole. I don’t know. But the most treacherous climbs belong to him, and that would be fine, if he wasn’t also the god of making you look at the flakingest, nastiest sandstone rock face and see it as clean strong granite, ready to hold your full weight. He’ll guide you out over the emptiness, and then he’ll let the rock go back to what it wants to be, and you’ll get a quick course on gravity.
If I’m scaring you, that’s good. You should treat the mountain with some respect. That’s the best way to avoid Eld’s attention. That, and going out with someone who already knows the terrain. Mebbe come back when you’ve got a guide.
Me? Hell, no. I don’t climb. I’m more about the cautionary tale and the convenient warning you’ll ignore.
Then no one has to feel bad when you get dropped.
Have a nice day now. Mind your grip.
Artist Lee Moyer (13th Age, Cursed Court) and author Seanan McGuire (Middlegame, Every Heart a Doorway) have joined forces to bring you icons and stories of the small deities who manage our modern world, from the God of Social Distancing to the God of Finding a Parking Space.
Join in each week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a guide to the many tiny divinities: